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Geddo Habibi: Cringingly Irritating Egyptian Comedy
Fekreya (Boshra) is a British-raised Egyptian who insists on being called Vicky. Completely broke and out of her job after the stock market crash, she decides visit her estranged grandfather Hussein (Yaseen), who is on his deathbed in Egypt. As his sole heir, she stands to inherit a fortune which would effectively cure her financial woes. Predictably, she gets to Egypt, meets her granddad and after a thorny adjustment period, they become best buds.
The film kicks off with an awful opening credits sequence that really sets up how irritating Vicky’s character is. It was during this sequence that this reviewer first found herself cringing; something that would be repeated quite frequently throughout the rest of its running time. The film’s first act involves Vicky and her roommate harping on about the money Vicky stands to inherit if her grandfather would just die already. The movie paints the roommate as the more awful of the two, although Vicky is every bit as distasteful.
The middle of the film revolves around twenty-something Vicky’s friendship with a bunch of teenage boys and the problems this poses for her grandfather who thinks it isn’t proper. Cue a bunch of partying scenes and her granddad coming home to find kids making out and a random guy offering him a spliff.
The final act has Vicky and her granddad tracking down a former flame of his who, lo and behold, has a grandson who would be perfect for Vicky. This is when the film takes an inexplicable turn for the preachy which, all things considered, is still a definite upgrade to everything that preceded it. It extols, quite heavy-handedly, the virtues of real-love marriages as opposed to arranged ones, and gives Vicky the happy ending she’d been dreaming of forever; a husband.
678 had Boshra showcasing some decent dramatic chops and this reviewer would like to implore her to stick to drama because her comedic timing is completely off. Vicky was something along the lines of a manic, grossly materialistic person until she falls in love and suddenly calms down. It’s a very unlikable character and one that’s frankly highly irritating mainly due to the thrashing around that passes as physical comedy. It was the visual equivalent of nails on a chalk board. On the plus side though, Boshra has a pretty decent English accent.
The rest of the actors didn’t fare much better. Yaseen looks remarkably healthy and active for someone who’s knocking on the doors of death, while Abdel Aziz looks distractingly botoxed and is made up to look like a raccoon. Meanwhile, Fahmy is so bland that he barely registers on screen.
The actors involved in this movie are capable of so much better which makes this wreck even more depressing.
For a Nicolas Cage movie, The Trust not as bad as one might expect, considering the actor’s string of duds in recent years. Playing out like a low-budgeted version of Ocean’s Eleven - except this time it’s the cops who are doing the crime - The Trust has initial promise, but as the minutes begin to unfold, boredom begins to kick in as becomes obvious that the story isn’t really going anywhere.
The film begins by introducing us to two cops, Stone (Cage) and Waters (Woods), who work in the evidence room at the Las Vegas Police Department. Both seemingly tired of their jobs, Stone is hoping that a promotion from his boss will soon come knocking while the prostitute and pot-loving Waters is painfully indifferent about the entire affair. Their lives, however, soon change when Stone accidently discovers large amounts of unexplained cash on bail release paperwork, triggering him to chase a money trail.
Bringing Waters into the picture, their investigation soon leads them to an empty building that was recently fitted with a super-secured - and super-suspicious - meat locker, which they believe is a safe filled with cash. Unfortunately, their plan of penetrating the vault doesn’t go as planned, leading the two to places they never thought they’d have to go to.
Blending flashes eccentricity with deadpan comedy, Nicolas Cage is surprisingly effective and relatively pleasing as the self-loathing cop who stumbles upon a discovery that, although illegal, holds the possibility of a new and a more exciting life. As his partner-in-crime, Woods is equally effective and the two actors play off each other extremely well, sharing a decent amount of onscreen chemistry.
However, their potential - along with the movie’s initial promise of delivering a dark and a relatively humorous caper - is lost with the script’s lack of risks. Co-directed by brothers and first-time filmmakers, Alex and Benjamin Brewer, the film is shot with a surprising amount of grit and visual flair. Though the siblings manage to build a solid amount of tension, there’s an imbalance to the whole film, in terms of tone, especially in the last act.
Still, even with all its flaws - the music could have been a bit more involving throughout for example - The Trust is still a far superior Nicolas Cage film than anything we’ve seen in recent times.
Disappointingly cartoonish and almost unbearable to sit-through, Barry Sonnenfeld’s Nine Lives - the Wild, Wild West director sinks to a new low here - is just as dreadful as its trailer suggest. The story - shockingly credited to a total of five screenwriters - is lethargic and uninteresting with Sonnefeld’s inability to ignite some much-needed energy or thematic effects into the mix, clearl throughout the entire ordeal.
The story is centred on Tom Brand (Spacey); an outspoken and a hot-headed New York real estate kingpin who is currently devoting all of his hours to putting the finalising touches on the largest skyscraper the world has ever seen. Working alongside his son David (Amell), Tom is a workaholic and his long working hours tend to keep him away from spending more time with his second wife, Lara (Garner), and their daughter, Rebecca (Weissman).
In an attempt to make up for missing out on his daughter’s eleventh birthday, Tom decides to buy her a cat from a mysterious pet shop owner named Felix (Walken). Picking out Mr. Fuzzypants as the gift, things take a turn for the wacky when, Tom falls off a roof and through a glass wall, losing consciousness in the process. Miraculously, he survives the fall but, when he awakes, Tom realises he’s trapped inside the body of Mr. Fuzzypants.
It’s seemingly hard to get excited or find anything nice to say about this latest talking-pet-family comedy that, considering its poorly constructed script and even worse special effects - seventy percent of the movie was entirely computer generated - seems lazy and uninterested in telling any kind of story to begin with. What’s even more surprising about Nine Lives is that it’s produced by Luc Besson’s EuropaCorp - the production company behind hits like Taken, The Transporter and Lucy - making you wonder what possessed them to take on the story of a human trapped inside a body of a feline in the first place. It just doesn’t make sense.
It’s not entirely surprising, though, that Spacey was chosen to play Mr Fuzzypants, with the Oscar winner and House of Cards star’s alluring yet coldly indifferent voice standing in as the perfect match for the role of the cat. However, thanks to a long-series of bad jokes - which of course include plenty of poop gags - lame dialogue and a script that can’t seem to come into its own, Nine Lives has racked up enough points to be nominated as one of the worst films of 2016.