The Definitive Guide to Living in the Capital , Cairo , Egypt

This instalment of The Twilight
Saga consists of the first half of the fourth book telling of Bella (Stewart) and
Edward’s (Pattinson) wedding, honeymoon, Bella’s
surprise pregnancy, her very bloody labour and finally ending with her
transformation into a vampire.

As usual, Stewart and Pattinson phone in their performances. Lautner
opens up the movie by ripping off his shirt – a Twilight hallmark – and quickly assumes a permanently angst-ridden and
heartbroken expression due to the arrival of his wedding invite. During the
wedding, Stewart convulses her way down the aisle while Pattinson watches her
looking slightly stoned. They very soon revert back to their default
bored/brooding mode though, so no worries there.

Bella is helped out immensely
by her makeup. Her transformation from a very pretty, very healthy girl to an
anorexic corpse with a bruised bulging stomach is fantastic. Her face is gray
and ashy, her clavicles protrude a mile out and you can literally count the
vertebrae in her spine. On the other hand though, continuing in the saga’s fine
tradition, the vampire make up is an absolute atrocity. So are their super fake
blonde dye jobs. Frankly it is really difficult to take anything the father
figure, Carlisle (Facinelli), says seriously due to his particularly heinous
appearance. All in all, the film’s awesome soundtrack does most of the heavy
lifting acting wise. The songs supply the emotions so that the actors don’t
have to!

There are a few bright spots though, namely Anna Kendrick as Bella’s friend Jessica, and Billy Burke as Bella’s father, Charlie. Kendrick only shows
up during the wedding, butshe puts her time on screen to good use. She
snidely contemplates the status of Bella’s womb then she appears as part of a
pretty funny montage of awkward toasts given by various wedding guests.

In fact one of the best things about this instalment in comparison with
the others is that, whether intentional or not, it is a good deal funnier.
There are several laugh-out-loud moments; most notable of which being the happy
couple’s bed-wrecking wedding night. This film is also gorgeously shot and is
pretty well paced not allowing the main trio’s sheer amount of angst to
completely bog the film down. The action sequences, though rare, are the most
polished and least cheesy of the whole franchise. In fact, the wolves, which
looked rather like fluffy puppies before, border on menacing this time around.

The film’s horror vibes are amped up this time around, which definitely
ups the entertainment factor and reminds you fthat  this movie is about a girl whose pining over
vampires and werewolves has led to her impregnation with a demon child. Which ever way you look at it, that is
legitimately freaky stuff and it makes you wonder what this franchise could have
been had they taken a bit more liberty with the
dismal source material.