The Definitive Guide to Living in the Capital , Cairo , Egypt

The glorified pornography series that promotes abusive relationships is, officially, over! The release of the final part of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, Fifty Shades Freed, is great news for both fans and critics; fans get to witness their beloved trilogy finally come to a close, and critics get to sleep well knowing the world will, at the very least, not bear witness to more of this plot-less franchise.

All three films in the franchise were directed by James Foley, and all three films star Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson. Jamie Dornan has one expression throughout the film, and it is not even a good one. In other words, Dornan relies solely on his looks to carry him through the film. This is not to say Dornan can’t act, rather it is to say that audiences did not get to see any of his acting skills, if they do exist that is. Dakota Johnson’s performance was as usual stiff, rigid, rehearsed, and underwhelming. Her character was submissive, even when she tried to defy Grey with little useless acts.

The plot?                         

Glad you asked, there isn’t any. The film revolves around a newly married couple traveling to different places, and having sex. Foley tries to add some drama with a couple of scenes in which the couple briefly fight about having a baby. Foley also tries to add some action with a kidnapping, but any unhypnotized member of the audience can see straight through all that.

The film’s dialogue is choppy, unimpressive, and leans more towards small talk. Moreover the film, contains a bunch of randomly placed deep quotes. Several elements of the mise-en-scène (namely the shooting locations, the props, and the clothes) are a testament to the film’s large budget.

While the film revolves around abusive relationships and behaviors, the film attempts to mitigate this with a love story between a good looking (yes, as critics we can still admit that) rich man who is possessively in love with a regular woman. It sounds like every girl’s dream, right? Well, yes, except for the part where he is extremely jealous, pathologically possessive, and tediously controlling. The film does not try to discourage these behaviors, instead it promotes.

The film, like the entire trilogy, is not only not worth your time, it is also a “production” that should be protested and discarded. Thank God the franchise is over, for everyone’s sake.