The Definitive Guide to Living in the Capital , Cairo , Egypt

Fekreya (Boshra) is a British-raised Egyptian who
insists on being called Vicky. Completely broke and out of her job after the
stock market crash, she decides visit her estranged grandfather Hussein (Yaseen),
who is on his deathbed in Egypt. As his sole heir, she stands to inherit a
fortune which would effectively cure her financial woes. Predictably, she gets
to Egypt, meets her granddad and after a thorny adjustment period, they become
best buds.

The film kicks off with an awful opening credits
sequence that really sets up how irritating Vicky’s character is. It was during
this sequence that this reviewer first found herself cringing; something that
would be repeated quite frequently throughout the rest of its running time. The
film’s first act involves Vicky and her roommate harping on about the money
Vicky stands to inherit if her grandfather would just die already. The movie
paints the roommate as the more awful of the two, although Vicky is every bit
as distasteful.

The middle of the film revolves around twenty-something Vicky’s
friendship with a bunch of teenage boys and the problems this poses for her
grandfather who thinks it isn’t proper. Cue a bunch of partying scenes and her
granddad coming home to find kids making out and a random guy offering him a
spliff.

The final act has Vicky and her granddad tracking down a former flame of
his who, lo and behold, has a grandson who would be perfect for Vicky. This is
when the film takes an inexplicable turn for the preachy which, all things
considered, is still a definite upgrade to everything that preceded it. It
extols, quite heavy-handedly, the virtues of real-love marriages as opposed to
arranged ones, and gives Vicky the happy ending she’d been dreaming of forever;
a husband.

678 had Boshra showcasing
some decent dramatic chops and this reviewer would like to implore her to stick
to drama because her comedic timing is completely off. Vicky was something
along the lines of a manic, grossly materialistic person until she falls in
love and suddenly calms down. It’s a very unlikable character and one that’s
frankly highly irritating mainly due to the thrashing around that passes as
physical comedy. It was the visual equivalent of nails on a chalk board. On the
plus side though, Boshra has a pretty decent English accent.

The rest of the actors didn’t fare much better. Yaseen looks remarkably
healthy and active for someone who’s knocking on the doors of death, while
Abdel Aziz looks distractingly botoxed and is made up to look like a raccoon.
Meanwhile, Fahmy is so bland that he barely registers on screen.

The actors involved in this movie are capable of so
much better which makes this wreck even more depressing.