The Definitive Guide to Living in the Capital , Cairo , Egypt

Hades (Fiennes) and Ares (Ramirez) have conspired to kidnap Zeus
(Neeson) and use his power to break Kronos, king of the titans and father of
Hades, Zeus and Poseidon (Huston), out of Tartarus, where his three sons had
imprisoned him after they overthrew him. Only Perseus (Worthington), Zeus’
demigod son, can avert this calamity and save the world. Accompanied by Queen
Andromeda (Pike) and Poseidon’s demigod son Agenor (Kebbell), the trio try to
find a way to free Zeus from the underworld so he can help them in the fight
against Kronos.

The film’s plot fulfils only one purpose: to connect the various fights
and battle scenes together. Seriously, don’t question anything or you’ll
uncover a ton of gaping plot holes. And while these fights are initially pretty
cool, after Perseus has fought a chimera, Cyclops and a Minotaur, you start to
get kind of bored and then there are still battles with Hades and Ares and
Kronos to sit through. And while the fights /mythical creatures look good,
there’s nothing particularly exceptional about them that’ll hold your attention
for the entire film.

The film looks blandly pretty in a sand-strewn kind of way. Everything
looks good but nothing stands out or grabs your attention. These swords and
sandals flicks are a dime a dozen and after last year’s Immortals, the bar has been raised tremendously on eye popping
visuals. Unoriginality seems to be a common thread here because the 3D is
absolutely wasted. It’s mainly used only to chuck a bunch of rocks at the audience.
There are some scenes that are pretty eye popping though. Perseus, Andromeda
and Agenor trying to navigate their way through a labyrinth to get to Kronos
comes to mind. The labyrinth’s walls shift, tilt and rearrange themselves while
the trio try to get through it before they’re squeezed to a bloody pulp or
tossed off the edge.

The most surprising thing about the film is how it’s filled with
heavyweight actors who are barely recognisable. Both Fiennes and Nighy were unrecognisable
under their costumes and wigs. But the problem wasn’t just in their appearance.
These two actors who are usually pretty electric just weren’t even trying. And
it wasn’t just them either. Worthington continues his quest to blend into the
background of every film he’s in and Neeson sleepwalks through his dignified,
wise man shtick.

Wrath of the Titans can
be summed up in three words: beige, bland, and forgettable.