The Definitive Guide to Living in the Capital , Cairo , Egypt

Following Stephen Sommers’ unexplainable G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra in 2009, Jon M. Chu is the man in charge of sequel, G.I Joe: Retaliation. Even with a couple of new, famous faces and heaps of optimism, giving the benefit of the doubt is by no means easy, considering the car crash that became of the first film. But one should always be optimistic – even in the face of absurdity.

G.I Joe: Retaliation picks up shortly after the events of its predecessor, with the US government having successfully put away the mysterious, gravelly-voiced Cobra Commander away for good in a top-security prison. 

The sequel kicks off when the Joes, Duke (Tatum), Roadblock (Johnson), Lady Jaye (Palicki) and Flint (Cotrona), are ambushed in Pakistan following a mission given to them by the US President (Bryce); for those who were fortunate enough to miss The Rise of Cobra, the president is in fact not the president, but evil-doer, Zartan (Vosloo), in disguise.

The crew, or what’s left of them, soon learns that terrorist organisation, Cobra, is behind the attack and that total world domination is their goal. With the evil, deadly Cobra Commander having escaped prison, the Joes – with the help of the retired General Joe Colton (Willis) – quickly draw up a plan of putting an end to the madness.

If one thing is certain, it’s that things don’t get more ridiculous than this. Who asked for this sequel, anyway? Chu, a man who made his name with Step Up and Justin Bieber: Never Say Never, delivers plenty of on-screen violence with an abundance of guns, swords, explosions and hand-to-hand combat, with zero originality or plot.  

In addition, the beefed-up cast does little to aid what quickly becomes a sinking ship. As an action veteran, you’d expect a little more from Willis, who looks bored throughout; a polar opposite to Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, who seems to be getting better every time he grabs a gun and kicks some ass. Despite some interesting peripheral characters, the rest of the performances are completely anonymous.

Lacking a rational plot, character development and charm, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, in a nutshell, is one loud, awkward and very forgettable affair.