The Definitive Guide to Living in the Capital , Cairo , Egypt

If you were amongst those who were seemingly dubious and questioning the release of the latest Disney modern blockbuster franchise, you will be very happy – and saddened – to hear that your suspicions were, well, spot on.

The Lone Ranger opens up at a carnival in the 1930’s where a young boy – dressed from head-to-toe in the Lone Ranger gear – comes face-to-face with an aged Native American warrior named Tonto (Depp) who, after catching a glimpse of the boy’s outfit, begins retelling the story of John Reid (Hammer), a celebrated figure of justice in the Old West. 

The story then takes us back to the 1800’s, where we meet said law enforcer John Reid, a polite and an extremely well-spoken lawyer travelling on a train, on his way back home to Colby, Texas, to become the city’s general prosecutor. However, his dreams of putting criminals away and holding them accountable under the U.S law is soon intercepted when he comes across a ruthless criminal, Butch Cavendish (Fichtner), and an offbeat Indian warrior Tonto, who are held captive on the very same train.    

The outlaw, Butch, who has a long-running infatuation for the town’s sheriff and John’s older brother, Dan Reid (Badge Dale), soon manages to outwit them all and escape. John is left to join forces with Tonto, who is convinced that John is a ‘spirit-walker’, whose fate is to bring justice upon those who have wronged, in a way he never thought possible. 

One of the biggest names attached to this picture is of course its star, the one and only Mr. Johnny Depp. Never the one to shy away from oddball and controversial characters, Depp surprisingly seems to be out of touch from his usual, dead-on impersonations in this one.  Apart from a few amusing moments, he offered very little to the table and the chemistry shared with his co-star Armie Hammer was more often than not, cold and thoughtless.  Hammer, on the other hand, wasn’t too awful and managed to give his character enough gullibility and silly righteousness as it deserved. 

As for the rest of the supporting cast including the brothel-running madam Bonham Carter, vicious fugitive Fichtner and sheriff Badge Dale, everyone involved brought their A-game but failed to rise above the story’s mechanical ways.

Directed by Gore Verbinski, the same man behind the exceedingly successful Pirates of the Caribbean film series, The Lone Ranger – an enduring embodiment of the American culture – fails to bring around any recognition or admiration to the legendary character who stopped entertaining the world over three decades ago. 

Messy, an hour too long and filled with silly humour, the production moves with a sense of uncertainty the entire way through. Despite stunning Old West scenery provided by cinematographer Bojan Bazzelli, this is a by-the-numbers blockbuster whose efforts – and a gigantic budget – results only in a mindless and forgettable piece of summer entertainment.