The Definitive Guide to Living in the Capital , Cairo , Egypt

This film has issues. In fact, its issues have issues. And its biggest
issue is its complete inability to settle on a tone. One minute it’s a dark
comedy, the next it’s a melodrama, the minute after, it’s a weird mash up of
both. Alongside the abundance of clichés and the unsuccessful attempts at being
quirky, it obscures its bright points – namely the beautiful acting from both
Findlay and Jones.

Findlay plays Emelia, a down-on-her-luck teenage girl and aspiring
writer whose only claim to greatness is her ancestor, Arthur Conan Doyle –
author of Sherlock Holmes. She takes a job working as a cleaner at a boarding
house run by a one-hit-wonder author named Jonathan (Koch) and his family.
While working at the house, she befriends Jonathan’s daughter Beth (Jones),
whose bookish, introverted demeanour stands at contrast with Emelia’s more
outgoing, worldly manner. Jonathan offers to give Emelia writing lessons and
before you know it, the two are sneaking around the house shagging, putting
Jonathan’s relationship with his family and Emelia’s friendship with Beth at
risk.

The film, which focuses on Emelia, examines three sides of her life; her
relationship with Jonathan, her friendship with Beth and her life with her
grandparents who are her last surviving family members – one of whom is dying.
The former is highly clichéd and the latter is melodramatic at best, however,
the film comes to life whenever Findlay and Jones share a scene. Their
friendship, which is based on awe, pity and loneliness, feels real and will
strike a chord with pretty much any girl. Beth is intimidated by Emelia’s sophistication
and maturity while Emelia envies Beth’s smarts and the opportunities afforded
to her by her family. In contrast, Jonathan’s premier motivation in life is his
midlife crisis, and he appears to be a thoroughly reprehensible father, husband
and employer. To him, Emelia is just another way to distract himself from his
mediocrity.

The clichés that the film deals in are unforgiveable, especially the
grandfather who seems to have swallowed one of those inspirational quotes
books. Not to mention the film’s storyline is reminiscent of those cheesy teen
soap operas, whether we’re talking about Jonathan’s family’s dynamics or Beth’s
‘corruption’ at the hands of the more experienced Emelia. 

While quite beautiful due to its seaside location, the film wobbles all
over the place and is pretty trite. However, it has two highly compelling stars
in Findlay and Jones; Albatross is a
pretty good film whenever they’re on screen.