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My Bloody Valentine 3D: Silly Horror Film in 3D
small town called Harmony, Tom Hanniger (Ackles) is a coal miner who accidentally
causes a tragic accident in a tunnel, leaving five men dead and the only
survivor, Harry Warden (Walters), in a permanent coma. Exactly one year after
the accident, on Valentine’s Day, Harry wakes up thirsty for revenge. So he
brutally murders twenty-two people with a pickaxe.
Exactly ten years later, Tom returns to Harmony still haunted by the deaths that he caused. He tries to forget his past while trying to deal with the fact that his ex-girlfriend Sarah (King) is now married to his best friend Axel (Smith), who also happens to be the town sheriff. That night, after years of silence, his worst nightmare comes true; as Harry hunts them down one by one.
As usual, the storyline exists purely to justify the brutal slashing scenes that continue till the very last minute of the film. For a change, the main character feels threatened from the start; Tom’s haunting thoughts keep audiences on edge and apprehensive of what is inevitably to follow.
As expected with slasher films, the film’s young cast are not the most talented actors. The characters are simply scripted and one-dimensional; but you’re not watching this film for Oscar-worthy performances. Ackles is annoyingly frightened from start to finish, which could make some audience members start rooting for the killer after the first half hour. Smith plays the tough guy character boringly by swearing a lot and looking to pick a fight whenever he can. King is thrown in as the love interest and has barely anything to add to the film. The best performance is that of Walters, who plays Harry with just enough conviction to be creepy despite having zero lines. Yet again, most people tend to ignore the plot and performances as long as the killings start, which can be understandable.
The good part about this film is that it’s shot in 3D. The 3D effects make the blood, explosions and even the pickaxe are all dramatically fly out of the screen at our faces for the first time. Bearing in mind that this film was made in 2009 before Avatar, the 3D effects are fine, but not as advanced as they are today. In fact, the 3D effects save the film in a big way; horror fans are in for a new and different experience.
My Bloody Valentine 3D is a silly horror film, but it’s meant to be that way; so why not enjoy it in 3D as well? Leave your brains at the doors, put on your 3D glasses, and get ready for mindless gore.
What can you say about the seemingly unstoppable force that is Nicolas Cage that hasn’t been said before? A magnet for the most troubled, muddled and just generally exasperating films to hit cinemas in the last five years, his latest work in USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage does nothing to change his fortunes.
Despite being based on one a true story that has all the makings of a war epic, the Mario Van Peebles-directed USS Indianapolis bleeds all and any gravitas and emotion out of its incredibly dramatic source material.
The story goes as thus: the eponymous US Navy cruiser delivered the first parts of the atomic bomb that would go on to devastate Hiroshima, before being torpedoed by the Japanese navy, leaving some 300 of the 1000-plus crewmen dead and the rest stranded in shark-infested waters. Said sharks, along with dehydration and salt water poisoning, leave just over 300 survivors to be rescued.
At the centre of the ensuing hubbub is Cage’s Captain McVay, who many, very unreasonably, blame for the death of the 700 or so victims – so you see, it’s a very complex story, but one that very quickly descend into and exercise on how not to make a war film.
The occasional laughable CGI aside, Cage is oddly sedate, bordering on placid, in his role – yes, the central character is possibly the flattest element of the film, while seasoned actors, Tom Sizemore and Thomas Jane, are given little to chew on in their respective roles.
While starting exactly as one would expect a war film to, the wreckage part of the film turns into cheap disaster movie, before turning into a courtroom drama in the final act. It’s a muddle of a film that fails to really drum to the beat of McVay’s potentially brilliant arc as a firm commander that eventually buckles under the unjust pressure he receives back at home.
Bad CGI, a mammoth two hour-plus running time and Nic Cage can be forgiven, but what’s at the heart of this film’s mess is the script. Jumping from event to event, plotline to plotline, at a whim, with Cage’s soft murmured speech used to pave over the transitions, USS Indianapolis’s pacing is that of a film hurrying to stuff as many ideas and threads as possible – expect that’s not the case. Van Peebles tries so hard to build the layers of an epic, when, actually, all he needed to do was tell this simple but stirring story as it is.
Don’t be fooled by Shut In’s relatively intense and spooky trailer; the final product is unfortunately, everything that its trailer is not. Directed by Farren Blackburn – see Hammer of Gods - this haunted house thriller of the wearisome is-she-crazy-or-is-she-not variety finds itself completely devoid of any suspense or story, resulting in one of the most painful and unexciting movie going experiences of the year thus far.
The story is set in rural Maine and revolves around child psychologist, Mary Portman (Watts wondering how the heck she managed to get roped into this mess), who is struggling to get over the loss of her husband who was killed in a horrific car accident some time ago. Left alone to take care of their teenage son, Stephen (Charlie Heaton from Stranger Things ), who was also in the accident and was left paralyzed from the neck down and unable to talk, Mary tries to do the best she can and to go about her duties as compliantly and passively as possible.
However, the pressure of taking care of him alone is slowly getting to Mary who tries to find some sort of comfort and solace from her regular Skype sessions with fellow shrink, Wilson (Platt). Her life is soon turned upside down when one of her troubled patients, a young deaf foster kid named Tom (Room’s Jacob Tremblay), shows up at her doorstep late one night before quickly disappearing into the cold without a trace. Wrecked with guilt, Mary soon begins to see evidence of Tom in the house; unable to differentiate between reality and her nightmares, her mind soon begins to play dangerous tricks on her, forcing Mary to believe that there is something else entirely at play here.
Told with an unintentional sense of preposterousness and accompanied by an obscenely sluggish tempo, instead of concentrating on building its own story and generating genuine tension, wastes time borrowing ideas from other, better-executed films. Attempting to ignite chills and creeps through a series of predictable and terribly clichéd jump scares, the story fails to excite, offering very little suspense, energy or reason for the viewer to get invested in its characters. Even the talented Naomi Watts can’t make up for its laundry-list of problems, while Room sensation Jacob Tremblay is disappointingly wasted in his role of Tom.
While the idea may have read well on paper, Shut In’s execution is dreadfully ineffective; uneventful, boring and a total of waste of both time and talent, watching Shut In is just as exciting as watching paint dry. No fun at all.